The Healing Stone
by thegoodgirldoll
Summary: Remus realizes that there are some things he is thankful for...And something he never though he would be.


Author's Note: So I wrote this piece for the Gemstones Challenge on the HPFF. I was super inspired, and in love with this idea, so I decided to stay in order and write the first stone and its prompt first.

Number One was: Adventurine is a great healing stone, it gives a sense of mental and emotional well-being. Write something about healing or being healed, be it physical, mental or emotional.

I hope you all enjoy this oneshot, and don't forget to review!

God Bless,

Sarah.

He stumbled down the pathway, gravel and broken weeds kicking up around him. Thorns nipped at his ankles and long blades of fresher grass tickled his calves. His body shook inside; his head was heavy. He was exhausted, but this transformation hadn't felt as daunting as the others. He didn't feel such an impending sense of fear and fight inside of him. Instead, he was calm. Instead, he was a_ccepting. _Accepting of what? He did not know. He was more keenly aware of a great many things lately. Firstly, the wizarding world was beginning to break apart- groups were dividing and preparing for the fight-, and secondly, the fight was, indeed, upon them. A battle was in their mist- a second, and hopefully final battle- and it was frightening.

Remus had been young when the first war broke out, and though he had been fiercely set on fighting, he hadn't had a clue what he was getting into. He was always intelligent, but what teenage could understand a war completely? He hadn't understood then, not fully. But now, he did. He understood that things were changing; that he was older. He understood that the first time, he had hope, and that now he had none. Oddly, this relaxed his body. Perhaps there was one good side to be a lycanthrope: he was so sharply aware of his mental, physical, and emotional senses that he could prepare himself.

He was able to prepare himself for death.

Though he didn't know when the final battle was approaching, he knew that the night it dawned would be his last. He wasn't sure how, he just knew that it was in the back of his mind, a gentle hand beckoning him to not be afraid; urging him to prepare.

The urge that he felt to prepare frightened him a little, just because he felt so pushed to get things in order, and that was…terrifying. Was he supposed to tell Tonks? Was he going to be able to meet his child? His throat constricted tightly and he blinked back the stinging in his eyes. His child. His son or daughter. He needed to see his baby. His heart throbbed as he came to realization that, he may not…There was a high chance that by the time his child was born, he would already be gone…

He needed to keep Tonks safe. She would want to fight, and he couldn't let her, even though he wasn't sure how he would do that. How would he keep an auror from the battle?

Remus stumbled towards a tree in front of them and gripped the bark tightly, his palms digging into the rough, brown edges. Pain overtook his body and his thoughts slipped away as he cried out. After all of the years, he was still not used to that first initial stab of shooting pain through his body. He still wasn't used to the process beginning. Gritting his teeth, he slid towards the ground, drawing his knees close to his chest and trying intensely not to cry out once more. he lifted his heavy head, looking to the light up on the hill- the little light that showed his bedroom light was on; his wife would be awake all night, worrying for him- and he tried to smile despite the throbbing in his body.

He felt the smaller bones in his fingers and toes begin to shift and crack and he closed his eyes in distress. Still, there was no impending fear. This time, it was more of an inconvenience.

"Why?" He mumbled quietly to the wind. As always, he asked why. Why him? Why had he had to be cursed with this?

His stronger bones were splintering now, fighting their way into longer shape to provide for the wolf's grizzly form. He bit down on his lip hard as the bone in his forearm snapped, the noise resonating through the woods. He tasted salty, rust tasting blood drip into his mouth, but he continued biting down. He chewed his bottom lip raw as the bones in his thighs and calves rearranged and snapped into longer, stronger limbs. He looked up at the sky, catching sight of the moon and feeling the mentality of the beast overcome him. He tried to fight it- the light illuminating his eyes and allowing the tears in them to glisten- but he couldn't escape the depression; the harsh reality.

He attempted then, as always, to ignore the physical pain and focus on keeping his mentality in check. His mind strayed so often, but he worked hard to keep it in check. Physically, he became a beast, but what mattered to him is that he didn't become it mentally; emotionally. He never wanted to associate with the monster that everyone thought he was; he would never allow it to claim him.

As the change in his body began to slow and he took his new form into consideration once more, he stretched his long limbs and settled himself on the ground, howling painfully. The torture of his body and mind was enough to make him just _ache. _He cried out in pain.

Remus had never wanted to be a werewolf, plain and simple. If that wasn't enough, he completely _despised _being one. He felt like half of a person; sometimes, he didn't even feel like a person at all. Human…What was it? What did it mean? What did a human do? What did muggles do? He just didn't know. He couldn't associate with what real emotions were. He smiled slightly, somehow, though…Because he may not have normal emotions, but all of his were heightened and he was happy for that…Actually happy.

Tonks was happy that they were pregnant, Remus was e_cstatic. _

Tonks was glowing when they got married, Remus could _hardly walk. _

Even the bad emotions, Remus experienced more extensively. It was both a blessing and a curse, but it was something that he was proud to have. He experienced life r_icher _than anyone he knew…And it had taken him this long to realize it.

He glanced back up at the small cottage resting atop the hill, and his heart fell into an even rhythm as he thought of his wife and child. A gentle calm washed over his body as he focused his mind on them, and he basked himself in that warmth and love as he ignored the pain radiating through his body and mind.

He realized what the feeling was- why he was so calm. Peace overcame him, and it held him close to its heart.

Peace.

It was foreign, and new, and beautiful.

And despite lyncanthrope; despite death…He welcomed it.


End file.
